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 Anyone
who spends a lot of time around comics (specifically the
older guys, the veterans, the ones who've really lived
a life) will tell you there's nothing better than sitting
at a table with them when the stories start flying. Even
if you've heard the stories a dozen times, it's great
hearing a brilliant anecdote from someone who knows how
to tell it -- from someone who's lived it.
No
one has yet made the great movie about that era in comedy
when the clubs were owned by gangsters, when women were
broads and everybody drank and no one was watching their
cholesterol. Woody Allen's Broadway Danny Rose
came close. As a framing device for his film, Woody
put a handful of comics at a back table at the Carnegie
Deli in New York and let the stories fly. The primary
story of two-bit talent manager Danny Rose was told
in flashback with voice -over by comedian Sandy Baron.
The other comics at the table were Corbett Monica, Jackie
Gayle, Morty Gunty, Will Jordan, Howard Storm and Woody's
own manager (my boss), Jack Rollins.
While
I worked at Rollins & Joffe, the guys and I would often
talk about trying to produce a ''real'' Broadway Danny
Rose table scene as a television special. Nothing scripted
-- just pick the right guys, put them at a table, put
out some food, maybe get a moderator to keep it moving
and let them go. Just put it on videotape.
Although
I had left Rollins & Joffe in 1984 to work on my own
projects full time, they called me back in '86 to finally
produce our ''deli'' special which we called But
Seriously, Folks.
One
concern we had (justified or not) was that more than
three comedians might instigate a competitive comic
gang-bang, with everybody fighting to get in their own
bits in the thirty minutes we were allotted. The three
comics we chose were Shecky Green, Jan Murray and Corbett
Monica. As a moderator, we used TV producer/director
Garry Marshall. It was directed by Howard Storm (a sitcom
director who was also one of Woody's ''Danny Rose''
table comics). I produced and edited.
I
think the show was a mixed success. We were guilty of
one fatal mistake: A couple of nights before the taping,
we got the comics together to discuss the minimal logistics
of what we were going to do. Well, we should have realized
that you put those guys together in a room and the stories
are going to start flying. Despite our admittedly half-hearted
attempts to put the brakes on the levity, the guys kept
topping each other. By the time we taped, two days later,
they were now repeating stories they had just told each
other two nights ago, and some of the crucial spontaneity
was lost. We all bemoaned the fact that we didn't have
cameras running in the room where we held the original
meeting.
But
Seriously Folks aired on Cinemax in 1986 and came
in somewhat under the radar. I don't even remember seeing
any reviews of the show, and I have no still photos
from the shoot. I do, however, have a copy of the show,
and I've transcribed one of my favorite anecdotes. It's
Shecky Green telling about the night Ed Sullivan banned
him from ever appearing on his show again.
Shecky
Green: Sullivan, if you remember had a lot of
difficulty with introductions. I was on the show about
twelve times and he actually forgot my name. (Sullivan
impression): ''Tonight on our show, from Las Vegas,
Riviera Hotel, a young fat, fat young...young... fat...''
I
go into a Chinese restaurant the following day, and
the guy says, ''Oh, Mr. Fat Yung!''
Garry
Marshall: But that was the place where the comics
could work.
Shecky:
Yeah, I did a thing one time... If you remember, the
Sullivan show was live...
Jan
Murray: He was dead.
Shecky:
Right. But now he cuts me down from eight minutes
to fit the schedule. He says, ''Shecky, we don't have
time to (unintelligible Sullivan mumble)... two
minutes.'' I said, ''You mean, you're cutting
me down from eight minutes?'' He says ''Well, I just
said (unintelligible Sullivan mumble).''
So,
in two minutes I really didn't know what to do, so
I do a routine where I turn the microphone stand upside
down and I talk to miners.
Marshall:
Miners? You mean like coal miners?
Shecky:
Yeah, coal miners. And at the very time I did this,
what I didn't know was that they were having a mine
disaster in Nova Scotia. At the very time that I'm
on the show. And I walk off... Now, they're getting
the reports from Nova Scotia. And he says to me, ''You
are the sickest sonofabitch I've ever known in my
life.'' Now, I started laughing because if you picture
Ed Sullivan swearing... ''You dirty sonafabitch you!''...
which is better than "fat young, young fat.''
Now,
he tells me, ''You're going to lose me Canada.'' He
says, ''You're sicker than Lenny Bruce and I want
to tell you, you'll never be on this show again.''
Now, I've got a contract for another twelve shows.
But I say, ''Okay.''
So
now years later, I'm working with Frank Sinatra...
excuse me (Shecky gets on one knee and genuflects)
I'm working with Frank Sinatra... Frank Sinatra, who
saved my life! In 1967 in front of the Fontainebleau
Hotel, Miami Beach, Florida, five guys were beating
me up and I hear Frank say, ''that's enough.''
So
back to Sullivan. Anyway, I'm working with Sinatra
and I'm getting into the elevator and Sylvia, his
wife, and Ed are standing there, and he sees me and
he says, ''Sylvia, close the door. Quick! Close the
door.'' He doesn't want me in. And as the elevator
doors are closing, I hear him say, ''Sylvia, why do
we hate Shecky Green?'' She says, ''That thing with
the mine.'' He says, ''Oh.'' And the doors close on
me and that was it.
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Folks
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